Living Out Loud

Just so you know, my husband will find the title of this post hysterical. Much to his chagrin, I am an internal processor and an introvert (although those who know me know that I love people.) I don't really live out loud. Except through the my writing and my preaching and my radio show. Ok, so perhaps I'm not as quiet as I'd like to think.

Most of us don't live our lives out loud -- or at least that's my perception. We go to work and we do what we do and we do what's expected and we try to stay out of the path of anyone or anything that may be gunning for us. We often prefer to live lives of quiet desperation than to really be "out there." We don't know what to do with the people who share too much information on Facebook or on a blog or in a conversation. It makes us uncomfortable.

But I do think believe that God calls us to check our fears at the door and live out loud. As Marianne Williamson writes:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

So I hope you will join me in living out loud today. Write a blog post. Sing a song. Call a friend. Do the laundry -- while you are singing. Don't be so afraid of someone else's response that you live small. Remember, you are a child of God and when you shine you give others permission to shine as well. And I think the world could use a little more light.

Trusting Your Inner Wisdom

I keep a card on my desk -- the one you see here. It helps me remember that I need to trust my inner wisdom, and that I need to trust my intuition. You see, it is in this intuition that I believe I hear the voice of God.

That may sound arrogant to some, but I think that when we are in tune with ourselves and our spiritual nature, we can indeed feel God's presence and experience God's nudging. No, I don't believe that God is a divine puppeteer engineering and planning everything that happens in our lives. But I do believe that while we have free will, God will nudge us toward that which is good and right and best for us. By the same token, God can nudge us away from that which is not.

God loves us so much that God wants us to experience life in all its abundance. And for some folks that is very difficult. But I do believe that for many of us, this abundant life is possible. We know that we want more, but we are often stopped by the fear of the unknown, the fear of failure, the fear of what we stand to lose, forgetting or failing to see what might be gained. So we live our lives in constant "intention" mode -- I was going to do that or be that or dreamed of that -- and we don't take the actions to make them happen.

Sometimes circumstance forces us to action, but for most of us, we can keep going along like we always have, not listening for God, not trusting our inner wisdom, not making the changes in our lives that will truly bring us life abundant.

This is what spiritual direction and life purpose coaching is all about. It's listening for God's gentle nudge and then taking the actions needed to live into that holy and abundant life. It's about conquering the fears that are holding us back from being our best and brightest and most incredible selves.

Trust your inner wisdom and begin to see the amazing life God has for you to live.

Going Long

It's July, and believe it or not, for those of us who are football fans, it's time to think about football. The players are already at training camp, pre-season games will start in the next few weeks, and before we know it, the season will be going in earnest.

When you grow up in Pittsburgh like I did, you just know football. It isn't something that you learn, necessarily -- it's in the water, kind of like fluoride. It's impossible to miss. You know you live in a football city when the top story on the evening news is that the Steelers arrived at St. Vincent's College to begin training camp. (They had not started camp, mind you; all they did was arrive.) And you know you live in a football town when you can't have Halloween Trick or Treating on a Friday night -- even when October 31st falls on a Friday (because everyone will be at the high school football game.) And you know you are from these places when none of this seems weird to you.

Often we go through life just trying to make the next first down. We are life's running backs, and if we are good at it, we get 3 or 4 yards a carry and keep making forward progress. Sometime we get thrown for a loss (lose yardage), sometimes we find a hole and have a great run, but most of the time, we just try to hold onto the ball and move it forward. That's what I think that life feels like for most of us.

But I don't think we have to settle for that. I like to think we get to be wide receivers and go for the long pass. We might not make every catch, but when we do, we've done something significant. Of course, we run the risk of getting intercepted, but if we focus on the route we've learned and we know where the ball is coming and we trust the quarterback to get it there, we improve our chances immensely. And we can reach our goal much faster than if we decide play it safe and keep the ball on the ground.

I want to be the one who goes long. I'm not going to settle for being the running back any more. I want to go long, reach the end zone and celebrate (although not excessively) and I want to go back to the scrimmage line and do it all again. This is what we do in life coaching. We help you see the end zone and get there faster than you could do it alone.

Have you ever watched a football team try to play without a coach? It isn't pretty. Well, sometimes we need a coach, too. And a life coach will help you decide what it is you want to accomplish in life and help you create a game plan -- I mean, life plan -- that will help you get there.

But remember, it's up to you to go long.

What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been

Sometimes the lights all shinin on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it's been.
                                from "Truckin'" by The Grateful Dead

Today is the 10th anniversary of my ordination to the Christian ministry. Somehow I just couldn't get these lyrics from the Grateful Dead out of my head. Indeed, what a long, strange trip it's been.

Blessing a dog and her human during the Feast of St. Francis

It was, of course a journey to reach ordination in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) -- one that I took and continue to take very seriously. I committed to living out my Christian journey in faithful witness to the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I made a commitment to love the church and all of God's people. I made a commitment to work for justice for those who were oppressed and to fight to ensure that everyone has enough. I committed to live out my calling as a minister to the best of my ability, with God being my help. 

I never could have imagined where the journey that began at my ordination would lead. I spent many years working for justice and equality in Springfield, Illinois and Washington, DC. I served a growing and thriving congregation in New York City. I am now focusing on bringing God's message of life abundant and love unceasing to the churched and the unchurched, the spiritual and the religious. I write and I speak and I coach and I lead workshops and retreats and I share the lessons I have learned along the journey in ways that didn't exist 10 years ago.

What a long, strange trip it's been.

Of course, it has not been a trip without a few detours, a breakdown here or there, or the need to call roadside assistance. There have been bumps in the road too numerous to mention or remember. I choose to remember the good, learn from the bad, and keep on truckin'. 

I've learned that the church is an imperfect place filled with imperfect people that God has called me to love. I've learned that in advocacy, sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose -- and as important as it is to win (these are people's lives we are talking about) it is also important to keep your integrity, your honesty, and your authenticity. I have learned that people want your enthusiasm and energy -- they can get your information somewhere else. I've learned that despite my best efforts, bad things happen -- relationships end, friends die, jobs are eliminated -- and God cries with me in the midst of my grief.

What a long strange trip it's been.

So I pray as I embark on the next 10 years that I am a bit older and wiser, a bit more savvy and a little less naive. I pray that I will continue to trust the way that God places in front of me, and I pray that God will lead me in ways that I can't yet begin to imagine. If I had any idea what I would have done in the last 10 years, I might have run like hell to Nineveh (like Jonah). But I couldn't have dreamt this up or made this up, so I just keep walking forward, knowing not where I go, but who I follow.

Sometimes the lights all shinin on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it's been.

Zen and the Art of Relocation

You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there. (Yogi Berra, former baseball manager)

It has been nearly two weeks since my last posting because I moved. Last week at this time, all of my earthly possessions were on a moving truck going from Manhattan to Westchester County. Thankfully, all these same possessions are now out of boxes, pictures have been hung, and the place doesn't look half bad, if I do say so myself.

Yes, this is the actual van full of all of our stuff.

So where is the zen in all of this? Peace in the midst of the firestorm of moving? Is there really a way to stay focused, practice higher levels of consciousness while everything you own is in a box somewhere -- but you aren't sure where?

Yes. And no.

My husband and I move about as often as some people (my husband) buy new shoes. We just lived in Manhattan for two years, and we expect to be in this house for somewhere between 1 and 2 years. We move. It's what we do. Between the two of us we have lived in 30 different places in our lives -- my husband has 13 of those, and I have 17. We know that we are not normal.

So here's where the zen comes in -- appreciating and truly loving every community, every church and every place that we have called home. When I am surrounded by the things that I love and that have meaning for me, I am home. When I am surrounded by the people that I love (mainly my husband) then I am home. Home is more a state of mind than a place. So for now, home is in Katonah, NY.

Julie and Julia

I'm feeling a lot like Julie in the movie, "Julie and Julia" tonight. I decided that I would serve boeuf bourguignon (beef burgundy) for a dinner party tomorrow evening which means making it tonight. Right from the book, "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" by Julia Child.

My husband gave me the two volume set of Julia Child's books over a year ago as a Christmas gift. Had I even cracked them open? Don't be silly. It actually took a trip to France to remind me that I really do love French cuisine and I really want to challenge myself to make it. So here I am. Almost feeling as if I need to dance around the kitchen making a mess and speaking in a high pitched voices with my chef's hat on. Except I don't have a chef's hat. I knew there was something missing.

So it's too early to tell if it will be edible and ready for prime time. If it doesn't work there are plenty of tried and true recipes that can be brought out, dusted off, and enjoyed in a reasonable amount of time tomorrow. But so far, it really smells awesome.

So say a prayer to the cooking gods that my boeuf will be tender and that I will not do anything to harm it. So far I've learned how to really brown 3 pounds of boeuf (slowly, with dry meat) and I am about to get practice browning mushrooms -- which apparently also have to be bone dry, and the oil very hot for them to brown. Julia Child is absolutely meticulous in her directions (which for most of us is a "thank you Jesus" moment) and she breaks it all way down.

So thanks Julia -- and Julie -- for the inspiration that makes the perspiration worthwhile. Bon appetit!

The Power of Restorative Yoga

Wow. I just spent the last two hours in a restorative yoga workshop that my friend took me to. It was a great reminder that we all need to take the time for restoration and rejuvenation. And all too often we are too busy and too stressed to realize that we need it.

It also is a good reminder to leave any resentments or struggles that you might be having in your personal and professional life at the door. And I’ve been struggling with this. I found myself on the receiving end of a very painful situation and I’ve been carrying around more resentment than I would like to admit. And I’ve realized it’s time to let it go and move on.

I’m done talking about it, and I’m done feeling as though I have to defend myself. I’m not going to let it define who I am. I think that women are particularly susceptible to both allowing others to define us by our circumstances, and doing it ourselves. We just need to say no.

One of the clear benefits of yoga is it’s ability to shift your energy from a lower level to higher one – and to integrate all of our energies, or chakras. I also use this approach in coaching through the core energy coaching process that I use with my clients. But I love the idea of this deep integration of mind, body and spirit that happens during yoga practice and I see the real benefits for me as both a coach, a writer, a mentor and a consultant.

Restorative yoga is great because you don’t have to be a regular yoga practitioner to enjoy the class or get achieve a good outcome. All you have to do is open your mind, your heart and your spirit, and be willing to trust the process. The same is true for coaching. You don’t have to do anything but be open to the process and be willing to work for the change that you want to see if your life – and change will happen.

Life is a journey. Do everything you can every day to enjoy and truly experience who you are and what you are doing in each moment. As someone once said, “Yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” Our challenge is to live mindfully – living the here and now – letting go of the past and stepping into each new day as a hopeful promise of what is to come.