Living Out Loud

Just so you know, my husband will find the title of this post hysterical. Much to his chagrin, I am an internal processor and an introvert (although those who know me know that I love people.) I don't really live out loud. Except through the my writing and my preaching and my radio show. Ok, so perhaps I'm not as quiet as I'd like to think.

Most of us don't live our lives out loud -- or at least that's my perception. We go to work and we do what we do and we do what's expected and we try to stay out of the path of anyone or anything that may be gunning for us. We often prefer to live lives of quiet desperation than to really be "out there." We don't know what to do with the people who share too much information on Facebook or on a blog or in a conversation. It makes us uncomfortable.

But I do think believe that God calls us to check our fears at the door and live out loud. As Marianne Williamson writes:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

So I hope you will join me in living out loud today. Write a blog post. Sing a song. Call a friend. Do the laundry -- while you are singing. Don't be so afraid of someone else's response that you live small. Remember, you are a child of God and when you shine you give others permission to shine as well. And I think the world could use a little more light.

What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been

Sometimes the lights all shinin on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it's been.
                                from "Truckin'" by The Grateful Dead

Today is the 10th anniversary of my ordination to the Christian ministry. Somehow I just couldn't get these lyrics from the Grateful Dead out of my head. Indeed, what a long, strange trip it's been.

Blessing a dog and her human during the Feast of St. Francis

It was, of course a journey to reach ordination in the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) -- one that I took and continue to take very seriously. I committed to living out my Christian journey in faithful witness to the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I made a commitment to love the church and all of God's people. I made a commitment to work for justice for those who were oppressed and to fight to ensure that everyone has enough. I committed to live out my calling as a minister to the best of my ability, with God being my help. 

I never could have imagined where the journey that began at my ordination would lead. I spent many years working for justice and equality in Springfield, Illinois and Washington, DC. I served a growing and thriving congregation in New York City. I am now focusing on bringing God's message of life abundant and love unceasing to the churched and the unchurched, the spiritual and the religious. I write and I speak and I coach and I lead workshops and retreats and I share the lessons I have learned along the journey in ways that didn't exist 10 years ago.

What a long, strange trip it's been.

Of course, it has not been a trip without a few detours, a breakdown here or there, or the need to call roadside assistance. There have been bumps in the road too numerous to mention or remember. I choose to remember the good, learn from the bad, and keep on truckin'. 

I've learned that the church is an imperfect place filled with imperfect people that God has called me to love. I've learned that in advocacy, sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose -- and as important as it is to win (these are people's lives we are talking about) it is also important to keep your integrity, your honesty, and your authenticity. I have learned that people want your enthusiasm and energy -- they can get your information somewhere else. I've learned that despite my best efforts, bad things happen -- relationships end, friends die, jobs are eliminated -- and God cries with me in the midst of my grief.

What a long strange trip it's been.

So I pray as I embark on the next 10 years that I am a bit older and wiser, a bit more savvy and a little less naive. I pray that I will continue to trust the way that God places in front of me, and I pray that God will lead me in ways that I can't yet begin to imagine. If I had any idea what I would have done in the last 10 years, I might have run like hell to Nineveh (like Jonah). But I couldn't have dreamt this up or made this up, so I just keep walking forward, knowing not where I go, but who I follow.

Sometimes the lights all shinin on me;
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me what a long, strange trip it's been.